Seeing Vulnerability as Possibility

It’s funny how much our mind spits out computer programs that run our entire lives, and we think that they are so real! When we can really see that working in our lives, it’s more than just an “Aha moment.” It is like finding an ancient treasure at the bottom of the ocean when you were just planning on going snorkeling! How often do we stop to ask ourselves, what if what we believe strongly is just a belief? What if we stepped outside of that, to see that our belief is just limiting and is the very reason why our life is limiting in ways that we don’t want it to be! It’s often so easy to see that clear as day operating in other people’s minds, yet somehow it seems that we must be the only one immune to that in our own lives. lol.

In Yoga, we gain access to that space through our asana, pranayama or meditation practice. We notice our energy shift when we are being in the space of no thought, no expectation, no past, or future, just SPACE. What’s possible in that reality – where you are simply , in the moment; way more than is possible when our programs are running our lives. Now, how about when we are living our daily lives, and not doing yoga mat practice? How do we access that then? We have to get beyond our thoughts. I am discovering through my Wisdom Course at Landmark Education that like the rest of the people in the world, I am incredibly attached to having my programmed story be real, which validates my ego and keeps me from experiencing living inside infinite possibility. Extraordinary thinkers would agree on one thing – what we think about, we create. Perhaps you might be wondering, well why in the heck would people want to really live a limited life when they can live from unlimited space? Or maybe you are thinking, I’ve read enough of this make believe new age thought and I have work to do. Whatever is happening, it’s all good.

One intention I have for this article is to share how vulnerability is a vehicle for infinite possibility in my life and everyone else’s. That is to step outside the boxed thoughts of my mind and really create the infinite space from which the unexpected greatness of life can unfold! The word itself vulnerability tends to conjure up many defense mechanisms in the brain. Such as the words, “no”, “protect yourself”, “keep your guard up”, “people will take advantage of you”, “don’t trust people”, “don’t show emotions”, “don’t tell the truth”, “fake it till you make it”, and on and on. In being this way with other people, I like to call that normal and safe. Lol. It’s all good. Now, what if you want to live and extraordinary life? What does that take?

I took a practice shot at it this month. I attempted a physical fitness test for an athlete category that I know is possible for me (even though I’m not in any athletic sports J ) I decided to be vulnerable with my emotions, allow myself to feel scared, nervous, uncomfortable, and be open to the unknown. Of course, I knew I could have practiced a lot more for it and nailed it before I tested, but I chose something different on purpose, like I choose to work with a challenging team of athletes that helps me get beyond my self doubt and invoke my growth. Instead of being put together and well prepared to the point of predictability, I decided to take a much bigger risk than usual.  I went in, centered myself to where it was enough to take the test, and I knew it was a different space I was in than I ever choose to be in much of my life. This was Wisdom in the making and I am even feeling the scenario as I write about it.

My coach had a perplexed look on his face, like I was not myself and he was not sure if I was ready for the test; understandable. I told myself I was ready anyway, even though I wasn’t sure either. Lol. As the challenge began it was nerve-racking. I concentrated on one thing at a time and got through each part of the warm up as efficiently as I could. The middle section was physically demanding and I used shear will power, mental fortitude to overcome my desire to quit. I even allowed my frustration to be visible and vocal (dialogue deliberately omitted), and continued on with my outrageous display of vulnerability. I passed the whole way through and then came the last thing I had to do. It was like facing a Ninja on your last breath of energy. Inside of myself, I gave it everything I had, on every level and I could tell that I just wasn’t quite there, so there, but just not quite there. I missed my goal by 30 seconds. I allowed myself to lose and visibly feel the result of taking a big risk. Instead of trying to fix it, I just stayed in that space of vulnerability because it was a different way of being. What was incredible was I got to really be connected to that in that space with such supportive energy from my coaches. I got to talk to Michelle about how she’s sees my performance, which is of course, completely different than I see myself. I also got to hear from a coach how it seems like I am being hard on myself. I got it and I got to experience athletic training, which is not about always winning, it’s the shaping and the conditioning it gives your being through challenge.

Today is a new day. I look back and I see that the experience has brought depth to who I choose to be. I know I can pass that test and I most likely will by the next newsletter. Whether I do or not is not even the point. In just being in that space of vulnerability, its being REAL. It’s outside of the mind’s programming, the agenda of always winning, always being predictable at success and always looking good. It is actually refreshing to express vulnerability and to connect on a deeper level with people who get to share that with you. If this can be done with a fitness test, what if it were something more risky, like connections with loved ones, family, new career or following through with manifesting something we say we are committed to having? In being vulnerable, we give others the precious experience of “holding space” or “granting being”, which is allowing us to be in the space we are in, without making it right/wrong, good/bad, acceptable vs. not acceptable and great or not great. We can let those people know that there is nothing to fix, or solve, only a possibility to let the person be as they are. From there, space is created for something new to happen and even an experience of Yoga, off the mat.

The world is in a place where CONSCIOUSNESS and VULNERABILITY is the answer to human evolution. The whole essence of yoga is to reach the state of oneness. We can’t get there with our mind’s programs running our reality of life. We will get there as we continue to choose to live extraordinary lives. So, what are you committed to this week? What are going to choose? Would you like to share that? Namaste.

Kam Singh, MA, RYT


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